On A Personal Note

It has almost been two months since I’ve been here. It feels much longer sometimes. I really didn’t know what I would be doing at Shishya before I got here. I knew I wanted to help in any way possible. They ask to list special skills on the application and I couldn’t pin point anything really. I feel in the last couple years I don’t have a lot of “special skills”. I don’t currently play a musical instrument, and I can’t sing or dance. Frieda just walked in with a flute. I said I used to play but not sure if I remember anything! Getting up in front of a group of people regardless of their age terrifies me. But I’m noticing once I’ve been here my worrisome attitude has subsided and I feel so much more confident about things! I just want to be helpful. A fear I have is leaving here and having not been as helpful as I could have been. For those that know me, I tend to stress myself out so easy sometimes. Nibha asked me what my hobbies are and I spouted off a few things like hiking, taking pictures and of course traveling. I said I want to learn how to play the mandolin and become better at photography. I wouldn’t mind learning more on the piano again! I guess I have a to do list and I should start soon! I told Frieda I can start doing Life Skills assemblies for grades k-3 and 4-8 twice a month when school starts up again in January. I’ll still be working on individual lessons for the Life Skills curriculum, teaching English to 6-8, doing moral science for grade 1 and teaching life skills to grade 8. I’m already out of my comfort zone here but I know I can push myself more. God has given each of us talents and strengths and often times they are unwrapped when we are most challenged and when we reach out to others and trust Him.

So with that in mind, it’s interesting that teaching English has proven to be somewhat of a challenging task for me. I want to use Internet resources here but I can never get my hands on the Internet stick long enough to research anything let alone be able to print. I write emails and blog posts (hence why they can be so long sometimes!) in Word before I get the internet stick so I don’t feel like I’m hogging the internet stick when I get it. Amanda made an interesting comment when I got here that this place is years behind the rest of the world when it comes to technology and how the rest of the world gets resources. It has been frustrating because I’m not used to it! But at the same time it really makes you think about how materialistic a lot of the world is. What on earth would we (I) do without the Internet? I have used it so many times for papers, assignments and keeping in touch with people. In a way I feel like I’ve hit a roadblock without the Internet at my fingertips all the time. Is that healthy? In a way it can be handicapping I think. Not having the internet at my fingertips has allowed me to read more and do other things. It’s refreshing. In the west we have the newest phones with the world literally right at our fingertips. I don’t get on the Internet much here but when I do I skim facebook really quick sometimes only to log off feeling frustrated and irritated with it most times anyways.

I guess what I’m saying is that I knew India was going to be different. (I have a new appreciation for hand washing clothes). I’m taking it in strides and I really like it here. Shishya is in a peaceful area and I’m learning a lot about myself and other people. I often feel like I can be so selfish at times. I feel like building up to my trip there were things in my life that needed change. It’s just allowing that to happen can be challenging because in most cases it’s not as easy or how we pictured it would happen. No better reason for change then to go to India, right? It’s so important to be grateful for the blessings we have. Yes, life isn’t always easy or pleasant. We shouldn’t become resentful when people or events disappoint us. How we deal with disappointments and problems is an indication of our true character.

I feel very inspired here. I’m often up late reading and writing. Being here makes me to want to be a better person and Christian. I feel like I am completely myself here. I pray, reflect on religious text more than I ever have in my life I think. I just feel at peace about a lot of things. This is what I wanted before I came here and it’s exactly what I’m getting. God is filling up my cup!

I was looking around during Sunday dinner the first time I came here and I thought about all of the boys that are here at Shishya: how blessed they are to be given the opportunity to live in such a great place. There is plenty of food and love to go around and I find it hard not to think about the beggars I’ve seen outside of our campus. Some of the boys still have at least one parent alive and to think about the gratitude and re-assurance they must feel to know that their son is well fed, educated, and being raised in love must be overwhelming and very challenging at the same time. Please remember to pray for the parents of the boys. It would be so hard to not be with your child because you are unable to provide for them the way you’d want to as a parent. Some of the boy’s parents have HIV, too. These parents, if the boys have any, loved them enough to know their lives would be better if they could get them to a hostel like Shishya. Frieda and Ken have a permit for this hostel and the boys have to be at least 5 years old to be here. Some of the boys look younger than 5, parents or whoever, lie about their age in order to get them here. I then think of the boys who couldn’t ‘qualify’ to be sponsored and accepted at Shishya, or if any of boys here now have sisters. Where are they? Frieda said that 1 in 4 girls are abused in India. It chokes me up just thinking about all of it. I am so grateful for what Shishya can provide. Ken and Frieda McRae are truly selfless and incredible people. Sharon said before she left to everyone that the work here at Shishya has been incredible. She hit this point home in how this place has raised so many good men. Even with so many boys coming through here, this place--raising them in love--has done a better job raising them, than other families in the world are doing with just a few children of their own. Sharon used herself as an example.

If you have been reading my blog and haven’t left a comment, please do so or send me an email to keljhansen@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you. My blog has been passed around to old teachers, professors, community members, classmates and many others. I’m sure people are reading this I don’t even know (hey you from Singapore looking at this… who are you?!?) I would like to know who looks at my blog! I wasn’t expecting it to reach so many people. Yes, most of the posts will probably be long and ironically grammatically incorrect, but I hope that it allows you to see that there is so much more to this world than our daily comforts. Every night before dinner I hear the boys playing floor hockey on the basketball court with a tin lid and sticks. Never take anything for granted but remember you don’t always need the things you think you need sometimes. I figured tutoring orphans at a small farm and school in India among other things would open my eyes and I hope it opens yours too.